The S.E.C.

Last week we covered the subject of Florida Fans who were Jorts. Tireless research by the JortsBlog staff has revealed that indeed, the Gators are unrivaled in their Denim Adoration. We were able to locate evidence of widespread Love for the Knee Jeans throughout the S.E.C.

Here we have both Kentucky and Georgia fans showing their fandom.

And Here we see Alabama fan showing his support of Denim Shorts;

Here, also is a Tennesee fan showing uncommon dedication to outdated fashion with his tailored jorts paired with the ever popular combination of Socks and Sandals, Orange Socks no less.

Now Tennesse fans are a proud bunch, that cannot be argued. What can be argued is their choice of when and where to display their team colors.

Again, here at Jorts, most female's are fully approved for Jean-short wearing, and this is no exception. What is at issue is the pant choice of the man in the background. Not jeans, not shorts, but still not OK.

The staff was unable, however to avoid the onrush of Gators when researching this topic.

The Florida Fans are simply unbeatable in this category.

I will officialy end the Tour of the S.E.C. with a final fabulous photo.

Moving beyond the S.E.C., I will leave you with this weeks favorite Jorts Item. Submitted by loyal reader Jeff in Olathe, here we see a Washington Redskin fan utilizing the multiple pockets on his Jorts to their maximum. 3 Beers, and still rooom for one tiny American flag. Truly an American Jorts Hero;

MU Vs Florida

Yesterday on KAOS I was brought in a a guest expert on the subject of knee jeans. The topic was this post, a cover from a new magazine, The Missouriaen;

In response, the staff here at Jorts have been researching the subject of Missourians and Jean Shorts. Here are some of the images we have been able to uncover.

While the staff has done some great work in this regard, one thing became clear while we were researching this issue. There is not one single place in this entire world where Jean Shorts are more accepted than in Gainesville, Florida. The Sheer numbers are staggering. All over these wonderfull interwebs, Florida Fans are sporting bare calves for all to enjoy. Their love of the dungaree's for your knees is astounding. Here follows a collection of amazing images collected by the tireless reseach staff of Jorts.

Reader Input

J.O.R.T.S. always appreciates the feedback of loyal readers. Recently I asked our readership to assist me in Scouring the interwebs for a photograph of Super Bowl Winning QB Ben Roethlisberger clad in denim shorts. This photo was not found. In its place, I submit to you a widely circulated photo of Heisman Trophy winning QB Tim Tebow in his Jean Shorts.

The observant reader will also notice that Mr. Tebow is wearing what appear to be Birkenstock style sandals with his Jean shorts, causing one to wonder if perhaps he thought he had won a Time Machine as part of his Heisman Prize. He looks as if he is ready to travel back to 1994 and take a recruiting tour with Danny Wuerffel.

Unbeknowst to me however, Tebow is merely trying to keep in touch with his fan base. Our next photo shows a loyal gator fan displaying the stuff of champions. This unnamed fan has stumbled into the wrong section for a Florida- Florida State Football game, and a rather lovely young seminole has taken the opportunity to mock the mans choice in fabric.

Possibly the most unusual thing about this photo is that the co-ed seems to be wearing some denim shorts herself. The reason why she recieves no grief for her fashion choice? Simple. She can pull it off.

That leads me to another point. People often ask me, "Whats wrong with Jean shorts?" Inquiring as to why I choose to mock someone simply for their fashion decisions. Again, the answer is simple. It's Funny.

There are a variety of reasons why someone choose to continue wearing Knee-Jeans. Sometimes this decision is to be hailed as a sign of someone who knows where they come from, and likes to show their roots. Brett Favre comes to mind here. Sometimes its a sign of a person who is lost, they just don't know that the rest of us moved on, found new styles and left the Half-Jeans behind. There is alsoa large segment of the male populace that, for whatever reason, choose that time period in their lives as the time when they no longer wanted to keep up with the Fashion Train. "I'm Done" was the collective statement. They no longer need a new style or follow the latest trend.

Whatever the reason for the continuiation of this fashion trend from my youth, my role here is just to highlight it. If you are a wearer of jorts, you can come here and find others who share your denim fixation. Perhaps you wear a mullet and are looking for the perfect accessory or accoutremont.

Whatever, its all in fun.

Attention Loyal Jorts Readers

Attention Loyal Jorts Readers and Fellow KAOS fans.

I need assistance with two images. First of all, Super Bowl Winning QB Ben Roethlisberger was seen in a recent issue of Sports Illustrated wearing Some high quality Denim Shorts. I have been unable to locate this image on the otherwise fabulous interwebs, so if anyone can help I would appreciate it.

Also, I need you help in determining whether the Shorts shown in the picture below are indeed Denim. There seems to be some confusion regarding the material, and the wearer seems to want to dissasoiciate themselves with the Jorts Phenomenon.

Please help loyal reader(s).

Work Place Rant

Workplace Tips, and things to avoid.

The Break Room fridge.
This is not a place to put food that you ever want to eat again. This is a place to donate food to your apparently starving co-workers. If you put a Pizza in that fridge at lunchtime, it is guaranteed to be completely gone by 3 o’clock. Well almost completely gone, there will be one piece left in the box, obviously bitten in half. Despite the very clear teeth marks in the final slice, you will find that some stranger will appear instantly to inform you that “someone” tore that off, it wasn’t a bite. These Bite deniers are the strangest of creatures. They are not there to tell you that they themselves did the tearing, but to place them blame on another co-worker. After relaying their insignificant bit of false information, they disappear again, waiting for a sandwich to be left so they can eat a corner of it, and leave others to ponder. Be Ware of the bite deniers.

The Microwave
Could you clean it? Really, its not that hard, just give it a wipe down.
Everytime I head to the breakroom to use the microwave, it’s a disgusting mess. It appears that someone in my office has a habit of taking raw tomatoes and tossing them in the microwave, then just walking away. No clue why they would do this, but it sure does appear to be the case.

The Coffee Pot
Our Office has luckily done away with this problem, but it is very common elsewhere I know. If you drink coffee, make coffee. If you choose not to refill the coffee after you have finished the pot, you should not be allowed to Drink the Coffee! Its simple people!

The Personal Call
In the office enviroment, there are often times when your personal life will take priority. You might receive a phone call that requires your immediate attention. You might need to counsel a child, or resolve a conflict with your spouse. When this happens, when your private life intrudes, get up from your cube, move to a private area of the office and continue there. I do not want to hear about it. I do not want to hear you argue, or lecture, or any of it. I especially do not want to hear you re-hash last nights bar adventures with your frat buddies. You repeatedly hollering F-yeah Tommy! Is not helpful for me while I am trying to be productive. Take it to the hallway, an empty break room, wherever you can just get away from me and my job with your personal B.S.

Omega watches announced today they are going full speed ahead with their support of Michael Phelps. The Michael Phelps Perpetual Alarm Chronograph will launch the third Monday of April. The New Watch features a built in alarm that cannot be changed. The alarm signals the wearer at 4:20 each and every day.

Throwing Darts

I hate that term. People use it to describe something random.
It's not. If you have any skill at all, throwing darts is actually quite precise.